Stupid People...
It has come to my attention that an increasingly high volume of people on this planet are pushing themselves to a point I call "stupidity" with little effort.
For instance, in my line of work (I currently work at a candy store, the name of which I have chosen not to disclose for the safety of my employment), stupid people are about as frequent as flyer miles:
Exhibit A - The Stubborn Mule
At work one day, I notice that a customer proceeds to put their hands into a bin of candy with the intention of pulling a piece out to sample. This is, of course, against store policy because it is unsanitary. So I kindly ask them to please remove their hand(s) from the bin, and offer to get them a sample myself if they so desire. I turn my head for less than five seconds to greet another customer, and out of the corner of my eye, the same customer puts their hand in another bin to fetch an unauthorized sample. I immediately turn around and request AGAIN, POLITELY, that they remove their hands from the bin and ask me for a sample if they need one. They turn away and I turn back to ring another customer's purchases. THEN, after twice reminding them to ask me for samples, they ONCE AGAIN put their hand in ANOTHER bin! At this point, any person with anger management issues would probably hop over the counter and beat the customer senseless. However, I am a predominantly easy-going person, so I kindly and slightly raise my voice and inform the customer that if they do not abide by my previous instructions they will have to leave the store, AFTER purchasing whatever items they have already picked out. At that moment, their brain finally registers that "Hey, this guy is displeased at me for doing what I am doing, so maybe I should stop doing what I am doing." So they walk across the store, now aware that they are being watched and take cover behind a rack of candy, so as not to attract any more attention to themselves. But I can't get mad because they couldn't help it - they're just stupid.
Then, of course there is those stupid people on the road. You know the ones. They're the ones that you just cannot believe were able to attain a legitimate driver's license. For example:
Exhibit B - The Old Granny
So I'm driving to work one day and I come up behind an pale white, 80-Something Buick. I'm trying to go the speed limit of 40 miles per hour, but the Buick is barely making thirty. I honk my horn once. Twice. The Buick speeds up for just a second then goes back down to about 25 mph. I honk again. The car behind me honks. A car a few more cars back honks twice. I honk once more as I coast through an intersection. Finally, the Buick pulls over to the side of the road, and I drift by with an annoyed smirk on my face. I see an elderly woman rigidly gripping the steering wheel, looking out the window of the Buick to the cars beginning to speed past her. She is dazed and confused and obviously oblivious as to why she was getting battered with honking horns just seconds earlier. I continue on in disbelief, because I know she can't help it - she's just stupid. (To whom it may concern, I am not an Agist! I know plenty of smart elderly folks.)
Exhibit C - The Bumper Humper
(BTW, if this term has not yet been patented, would the patent office please contact me about doing so?)
One fine night, I am driving home from work, down the same street mentioned above, at just over 40 mph.
Behind me, a dark colored sedan (hard to tell in the dark) of unknown type (also hard to tell in the dark) pulls up behind me from a side street, at first going the speed limit. As I continue down the road, the dark sedan creeps closer and closer to my vehicle as it picks up speed. The sedan settles for a three foot gap between it and me. Then, during one instance when the sedan's headlight are not directly aimed at my car, I catch a glimpse of the driver, who has an annoyed look on his face. This look is apparently stemming from the fact that he is caught behind somebody who actually drives the posted speed limit. I let out a brief chuckle and pump my brakes quickly. The quick but short burst of brakes surprises the driver, who falls back about twenty feet as a safety measure. I continue on, thinking all is good. But the dark sedan quickly reclaims it's position three feet from my bumper. I tap on the brakes again, although lesser so this time, and the sedan backs off a few feet, then pulls back up. Ahead, I see my turn-off, so pause until I get to about a three second brake gap for the turn and hit my brakes hard, but smoothly, and pop on my blinker as I go into the turn. The unsuspecting driver pumps his brakes hard and swerves to avoid clipping the back corner of my car, then guns the gas and races past me. As I complete the turn into my neighborhood, I realize I can't get mad at the guy - he's just stupid.
And with that said, I think my point has been proven. For you stupid people, the point was that there are a humiliating abundance of stupid people on this planet. And if you don't agree with that, then you're stupid too.
LOL until next time...
For instance, in my line of work (I currently work at a candy store, the name of which I have chosen not to disclose for the safety of my employment), stupid people are about as frequent as flyer miles:
Exhibit A - The Stubborn Mule
At work one day, I notice that a customer proceeds to put their hands into a bin of candy with the intention of pulling a piece out to sample. This is, of course, against store policy because it is unsanitary. So I kindly ask them to please remove their hand(s) from the bin, and offer to get them a sample myself if they so desire. I turn my head for less than five seconds to greet another customer, and out of the corner of my eye, the same customer puts their hand in another bin to fetch an unauthorized sample. I immediately turn around and request AGAIN, POLITELY, that they remove their hands from the bin and ask me for a sample if they need one. They turn away and I turn back to ring another customer's purchases. THEN, after twice reminding them to ask me for samples, they ONCE AGAIN put their hand in ANOTHER bin! At this point, any person with anger management issues would probably hop over the counter and beat the customer senseless. However, I am a predominantly easy-going person, so I kindly and slightly raise my voice and inform the customer that if they do not abide by my previous instructions they will have to leave the store, AFTER purchasing whatever items they have already picked out. At that moment, their brain finally registers that "Hey, this guy is displeased at me for doing what I am doing, so maybe I should stop doing what I am doing." So they walk across the store, now aware that they are being watched and take cover behind a rack of candy, so as not to attract any more attention to themselves. But I can't get mad because they couldn't help it - they're just stupid.
Then, of course there is those stupid people on the road. You know the ones. They're the ones that you just cannot believe were able to attain a legitimate driver's license. For example:
Exhibit B - The Old Granny
So I'm driving to work one day and I come up behind an pale white, 80-Something Buick. I'm trying to go the speed limit of 40 miles per hour, but the Buick is barely making thirty. I honk my horn once. Twice. The Buick speeds up for just a second then goes back down to about 25 mph. I honk again. The car behind me honks. A car a few more cars back honks twice. I honk once more as I coast through an intersection. Finally, the Buick pulls over to the side of the road, and I drift by with an annoyed smirk on my face. I see an elderly woman rigidly gripping the steering wheel, looking out the window of the Buick to the cars beginning to speed past her. She is dazed and confused and obviously oblivious as to why she was getting battered with honking horns just seconds earlier. I continue on in disbelief, because I know she can't help it - she's just stupid. (To whom it may concern, I am not an Agist! I know plenty of smart elderly folks.)
Exhibit C - The Bumper Humper
(BTW, if this term has not yet been patented, would the patent office please contact me about doing so?)
One fine night, I am driving home from work, down the same street mentioned above, at just over 40 mph.
Behind me, a dark colored sedan (hard to tell in the dark) of unknown type (also hard to tell in the dark) pulls up behind me from a side street, at first going the speed limit. As I continue down the road, the dark sedan creeps closer and closer to my vehicle as it picks up speed. The sedan settles for a three foot gap between it and me. Then, during one instance when the sedan's headlight are not directly aimed at my car, I catch a glimpse of the driver, who has an annoyed look on his face. This look is apparently stemming from the fact that he is caught behind somebody who actually drives the posted speed limit. I let out a brief chuckle and pump my brakes quickly. The quick but short burst of brakes surprises the driver, who falls back about twenty feet as a safety measure. I continue on, thinking all is good. But the dark sedan quickly reclaims it's position three feet from my bumper. I tap on the brakes again, although lesser so this time, and the sedan backs off a few feet, then pulls back up. Ahead, I see my turn-off, so pause until I get to about a three second brake gap for the turn and hit my brakes hard, but smoothly, and pop on my blinker as I go into the turn. The unsuspecting driver pumps his brakes hard and swerves to avoid clipping the back corner of my car, then guns the gas and races past me. As I complete the turn into my neighborhood, I realize I can't get mad at the guy - he's just stupid.
And with that said, I think my point has been proven. For you stupid people, the point was that there are a humiliating abundance of stupid people on this planet. And if you don't agree with that, then you're stupid too.
LOL until next time...
posted by StoryTeller at 11:00 PM
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